It's not so much that I waited too long to choose a Halloween costume, it's that I have so many costume parts laying around my apartment that I can always throw something together at the last minute.
As I was looking through my closet, I thought of, then summarily rejected, the following costumes that you are free to claim as your own:
Rosa Parks: Glue a bus seat to your ass.
Dot-Commer: Leather pants, shiny black shirt, feather boa, digital camera, and various items of swag with dot-com names on it.
International Male model: A turquoise satin shirt, a bandana head scarf, a thong, and espadrilles.
Cat Lady: In drag with stuffed cats stuck all over you.
Hurricane Katrina Superdome Evacuee: Cut-off jean shorts and tank top, curlers in hair, with a two feet of garbage glued to your shoes. (I have everything to make this outfit fantastic, from a silver emergency blanket to bad yellow house slippers to a shower cap to fake poop. I'm so tempted but it's so wrong...)
A Bottom: strap a blow-up doll to your back.
A Conjoined Twin: strap a blow-up doll to your head.
Tree Hugger: Strap a tree to your front.
Chronic Masturbator: dye the palm of your hand red, cover your shirt and pants with white clumps.
Costumes I Do Not Recommend, Because I Wore Them in Previous Years and they Did Not Go Over Well:
L.L. Clown J.: clown nose and wig, in blackface wearing a hoodie.
Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation Victim: Carrying Hustler, face painted blue like death with plastic bag over top of head.