Camper's Log - December 24, 2005

Dear Fans,

I was about to enter an online contest for free commercial office space, but then I read the rules. They state that the company can use your entry and your name, whether or not you win, for all time, without pay.

My entry surely would have won (I'm that good) and they could have used the list for all I care, but using the name Camper English don't come for free! I'm going to have to trademark myself one of these days. So I said hooey on that, and I'll share my entry with the fans instead.

Top Ten Reasons why my Home Office Sucks

1. I've forgotten the distinction between "napkin" and "t-shirt."

2. Without officemates, the annual Secret Santa isn't much of a secret.

3. Since the nightly hard drive scan kept waking me up, I set it to run in the morning as an alarm clock instead.

4. The only thing to distinguish a sick day from a work day is the amount of throwing up.

5. With a children's playground next door, my voice recognition software only types, "You're it! You're it! Cheater!"

6. The rollers on my desk chair keep getting snagged in the shag carpeting.

7. I live in California, yet worry about a Vitamin D deficiency from lack of sunlight.

8. I'm not sure if I'm legally required to post an "Employees Must Wash Hands" sign next to my toothbrush in the bathroom.

9. Houseguests often comment that the motivational posters are an odd choice of décor.

10. Home office = Guaranteed tax audit