Reasons it sucks to be a gay man

1. Prisoners resort to your lifestyle.

2. Girls think it's OK to tell you details of their menstrual cycle.

3. Straight guys feel the need to tell you so, repeatedly.

4. "Questioning" has now been added to the L/G/B/T all-inclusive acronym. I think you should have to make up your fucking mind before you join in my parade.

5. Lesbians.

6. You need to have lube in order to have sex. This is a clue that nature did not intend it.

7. Having to buy lube in Walgreen's.

8. Having a good reason to dislike Catholics when one isn't necessary.

9. They throw a parade for you every year. Parades are gay.

10. The only way someone famous comes out as a gay role model is if he gets caught having sex in a public bathroom.

11. Having a reputation for being neat and clean when you're just not.

12. Florists.

13. The loudest and proudest ones are the ones you least want to represent you.

14. Being white and middle class and still getting beaten up.

15. Fag hags.

16. Don't get to play with breasts.

17. Used condoms smell like poop.

18. GLBT doesn't spell anything, no matter how you arrange the letters.

19. Rainbows are your symbol. You and freaks who collect unicorn figurines.

20. Having sex means shoving things in your ass.

21. If you want to get laid you have to hang out with other fags.

22. International Male knows where you live, and will follow you for the rest of your life.

23. Genetically programmed to like Tom Cruise, even though he is a little runt.

24. Straight guys want to make out with you when they take ecstasy.

25. Knowing that you are the way you are because of defective genes or a childhood developmental problem that will never clear up.

26. The Abercrombie and Fitch catalog is marketed just to you.

27. Richard Simmons.

28. The only way to be not gay is to be Christian.

29. Rudy Galindo.

30. Morning stubble against stubble.

31. If you're in a truck stop restroom, the big fat hairy guy assumes you want to see his penis.

32. You can't be bitter without being a bitter fag.

33. We have our own special disease - the gay cancer.

34. The locker room at the gym is very distracting.

35. Gay bars.

36. I'm supposed to care about that dead slut Princess Di.

37. Priests always want to have sex with you.

38. Having to be the gay uncle.

39. You can't walk through the park without someone trying to fuck you in the bushes.

40. Buying a big truck implies you have a small dick.

41. You can't boast to the guys about how big your dick is - chances are, someone in the room has had it in their mouth.