Headquarters South

it's kept dark and secret
'cept by word of mouth
camper's tropical hideaway
his headquarters south

its not all wine and roses
being popular and kind
he needs to escape
to relax and unwind

cancel all meetings!
and photoshoots too!
screw all those clients!
say he's got the flu!

he'll call up his chauffeur
give the day off to the maid
there'll be other servants
for when he needs to get laid

he jumps in his 'copter
which takes him to the Leer
to his secret paradise hideaway
his jet would then steer

on Bambi! on Ginger!
on Russel! We dash!
bring the booze and the pills
and the nitrous and hash

there he is safe
from the public's harsh eye
where his scandalous affairs
he won't need to deny

he runs around naked
kissing teens on the mouth
cause Everything Goes
in Headquarters South!