I'm a wiz in the kitchen
Everyone says that I am
Whether I'm basting a sandwich
Or boiling a ham
Or frying up lobster
Or making tuna bisque
I'm not afraid to take
Any culinary risk
I have all the bake ware
A housewife could need
I'll spare no expense 'cause
I've got a family to feed!
They love my garlic pie
And green olive ice cream
My waffle soup's to die for
It tastes like a dream!
It's odd that not once has
A complaint been said.
But I know if they did
I'd stab them all dead!