Kidnapping



"Camper always seemed so nice,
not weird or remotely wild."
That's what the neighbors all had said
when they learned I took a child.

I don't really look like a creep,
cause really, I'm really not,
I just casually happened to mention
that little Jenny makes me hot.

Then everyone got all upset
and made this whole big deal,
and it just ruined my concentration
trying to pick out which one to steal.

Children are so very cuddly
and cute and soft and nice,
I just wanted one of my own
to give my day some spice.

Eventually I settled on Billy-
He's the smartest of the bunch.
He knew that I was up to something,
when I picked him up for lunch.

He kicked and screamed, put up a fight
when I put him in the car.
It wasn't worth all the effort
so I didn't drive real far.

I let him go and run on home.
It was really all his fault,
that I gave up trying to steal a child
and kidnapped an adult.